Interesting

I took the first step. I emailed him. I have emailed him once a week for the last month or so. He has responded to every email I have sent.

I saw him this weekend. It is funny though I did not crave his attention. I use to crave his attention and would want to be the center of his day but not anymore. I don't get butterflies in my stomach any more. It was great to see him. But of course, just as I was leaving he started to talk to me a little more since no one was around and it was the first time I looked in his eyes all weekend. There is something wrong. I could see it in his eyes. I don't know what, but it is there. Hopefully, I will find out soon.

7 months almost!

It has almost been 7 months since my last post. Like I said then the thoughts slowly went away. Sure there are things that trigger memories but nothing more then that. I hadn't heard his voice for almost a year if not more and last week when I did I had no feelings. It use to be that when I would hear his voice on the voicemail it would trigger butterflies in my stomach. But nothing last week.

This week is a different story though it seems the memories are constantly there and the random thoughts are there as well. I haven't seen him and I really wish we could have some time together alone. I really would like to hash everything out, either lay the ground rules on contact or say our goodbyes. It really does make it hard that I never got the chance to say goodbye.