What I'd give to bring you flowers
What I'd give to get you alone
What I'd give to bring a smile across your face
What I'd give to take you home
What I'd give to make you coffee
Find out how you like your eggs
Wrapped around you in the morning
A tangled lace of arms and legs
What I'd give to let you love me
Find out everything that brings you joy
Wake up to your face above me
I'd be that girl and you could be that boy
Find out what that feeling is
Oh, what I'd give
What I'd give to take you dancing
What I'd give to make you mine
If you've got questions, I got answers
And my answer's "yes" to you every time
What I'd give for just one minute
What i'd give to count all the ways
If your heart was dark with nothin' in it
I'd give you mine and take your place
What I'd give to let you love me
Find out everything that brings you joy
Wake up to your face above me
I'd be that girl and you could be that boy
Find out what that feeling is
Oh, what I'd give
Oh, what I'd give
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Brain space...
I hold on to things and I can't sleep at night or thoughts consume my day to day activities. I needed a place to put thoughts about this one thing to get them off my mind. I need to feel like I am getting rid of it. It will be a best seller someday but for now I need a space to contain the information.
This post will be about the thing that consumes most of my thoughts daily. I can't shake it. Usually I am good about putting it out of my mind but this one I just can't.
I miss our time together. I miss hearing him almost everyday. I miss his voice. I miss the random messages I would get that only him and I would know the meaning too. I miss sending him random messages that only he would know the meaning too. I miss being a part of his life.
I sent a text message for his birthday and got a very short response. I hate when he does that. I know it is just him, he is not big on email, or text message. He barely knows how to work his cell phone, its just the way he is. I can't call not to just talk.
I use to see him once, twice, even three or four times a week. I talked to him at least once a week. Now nothing. I can't stand it.
I think I just realized what happened...oh this is gonna be hard to get him back.
We were super close just recently and I was loving it. I really felt good about where things were going. Usually I push away or he does at some point but not this time. I wanted this more than anything, and from his reactions I thought he did too. He started to have problems sleeping, having anxiety attacks at night. I talked to him about them and it seems that things were starting to pile up on him and one of those things was us. He had to do something and he dropped the one thing that he thought was expendable...me. Uuugh, if that isn't a heart breaker I don't know what is. I rarely have contact with him anymore, and I think he isn't sure how to fix the problem. I don't know what to do. Usually I am good about staying away when he needs it but I am not sure how to respond to this one. He pushed me away and I am afraid he is doing his best not to look back.
This post will be about the thing that consumes most of my thoughts daily. I can't shake it. Usually I am good about putting it out of my mind but this one I just can't.
I miss our time together. I miss hearing him almost everyday. I miss his voice. I miss the random messages I would get that only him and I would know the meaning too. I miss sending him random messages that only he would know the meaning too. I miss being a part of his life.
I sent a text message for his birthday and got a very short response. I hate when he does that. I know it is just him, he is not big on email, or text message. He barely knows how to work his cell phone, its just the way he is. I can't call not to just talk.
I use to see him once, twice, even three or four times a week. I talked to him at least once a week. Now nothing. I can't stand it.
I think I just realized what happened...oh this is gonna be hard to get him back.
We were super close just recently and I was loving it. I really felt good about where things were going. Usually I push away or he does at some point but not this time. I wanted this more than anything, and from his reactions I thought he did too. He started to have problems sleeping, having anxiety attacks at night. I talked to him about them and it seems that things were starting to pile up on him and one of those things was us. He had to do something and he dropped the one thing that he thought was expendable...me. Uuugh, if that isn't a heart breaker I don't know what is. I rarely have contact with him anymore, and I think he isn't sure how to fix the problem. I don't know what to do. Usually I am good about staying away when he needs it but I am not sure how to respond to this one. He pushed me away and I am afraid he is doing his best not to look back.
Rejection Update
Orignally posted on my other blog/posted 2/14/10)
Funny how things have a way of working them out when you talk about them. (I need to remember that in the future). Not only did we speak but I saw him for a few minutes while he was working on his house. A couple sweaty hugs later I was gone. I doubt that with his new life that he will have the time he had for me before retiring. I need to accept that and move on. It will be super hard, but at least I know that when I text or call him he will eventually return my calls/texts. Can people really have a relationship via text or cell phone?
Funny how things have a way of working them out when you talk about them. (I need to remember that in the future). Not only did we speak but I saw him for a few minutes while he was working on his house. A couple sweaty hugs later I was gone. I doubt that with his new life that he will have the time he had for me before retiring. I need to accept that and move on. It will be super hard, but at least I know that when I text or call him he will eventually return my calls/texts. Can people really have a relationship via text or cell phone?
Rejection
(Originally posted on my other blog/Posted 2/11/10)
I just have to say I hate rejection. I hate rejection. I have a male friend that I just adore and I assume the feeling is mutual. We are both married. He loves his wife and kids, and I adore them as well. And I love my husband and kids, and he adores them as well. However, for that last 14 years we have gotten closer and closer each year. So close that at some point each year we have to take a break from each other. Not because we get on each other's nerves, but I think there is a fear of getting to close to each other. There is never any discussion about it, at some point we just step away from each other. It is never mutual. This time it wasn't me, and I am concerned about the time it is taking to reconnect. I just tried to text him and his response was not what I expected. We worked in the same professions until last year when he was forced into retirement by a bad experience. I am concerned that he is wanting to avoid me so he doesn't have to think about what he had at work and what he lost. The response to my text message has me thinking that he really has purged me from his life and I am heart broken. I hate rejection. I hate rejection.
I just have to say I hate rejection. I hate rejection. I have a male friend that I just adore and I assume the feeling is mutual. We are both married. He loves his wife and kids, and I adore them as well. And I love my husband and kids, and he adores them as well. However, for that last 14 years we have gotten closer and closer each year. So close that at some point each year we have to take a break from each other. Not because we get on each other's nerves, but I think there is a fear of getting to close to each other. There is never any discussion about it, at some point we just step away from each other. It is never mutual. This time it wasn't me, and I am concerned about the time it is taking to reconnect. I just tried to text him and his response was not what I expected. We worked in the same professions until last year when he was forced into retirement by a bad experience. I am concerned that he is wanting to avoid me so he doesn't have to think about what he had at work and what he lost. The response to my text message has me thinking that he really has purged me from his life and I am heart broken. I hate rejection. I hate rejection.
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